so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
