Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
