yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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