If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dicks are not precious.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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