Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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