Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
