i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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