This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
