Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Someone signed my nipple.
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