you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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