Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
