I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
