We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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