White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
