I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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