then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
