I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
