Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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