Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
