She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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