so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
