I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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