If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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