Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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