Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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