Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
