i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
