dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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