Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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