Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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