Taylor Swift is so right about you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
