if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
