it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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