I can text with my tongue
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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