I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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