On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
