I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
