He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
