im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
