Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You can't just leave with hair like that
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
