i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
