new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
