I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My friends, they love my intelligence
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
