I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
