Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
