Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
