Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
