I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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