That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
