But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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