apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
